Recently, my five-year-old son has made it abundantly clear that he refuses to be considered a baby any longer. Whenever I accidentally refer to him as “my baby,” he immediately stands tall, crosses his arms firmly, and declares, “Mommy, I told you not to call me that!”
His assertion carries such unwavering certainty that it always brings a smile to my face. There’s a pure conviction in his voice and demeanor—no doubts, no second-guessing. He possesses a crystal-clear sense of his own identity and holds onto it without compromise.
Inspired by this, when the moment arrived to sort through and declutter his toys, I cleverly tapped into his mindset. We tackled his room side by side, and for every item that had gathered dust from lack of use, I posed the question: “Are you sure you still want to keep this? It strikes me as something more suited for babies…”
He would pause briefly, offer a casual shrug of his shoulders, and reply, “Yeah, that’s baby stuff.” Straight into the donation bin it would go without further ado.
Naturally, he held onto a select few favorites—after all, he’s only five years old. Yet, I was truly astonished by how effortlessly he parted with the majority of those toys. It wasn’t due to any persuasive argument from me or a structured method I imposed; rather, it stemmed from his firm self-perception.
This realization prompted deeper reflection: Imagine if we applied the same principle to our personal decluttering efforts?
Who Do You Aspire to Become?
In many ways, adults mirror children in this regard. We harbor internal convictions about our identities, and we accumulate possessions that align with or reinforce those self-concepts.
Take my early days of marriage, for instance. I was convinced that every newlywed couple needed specific essentials: an elegant serving platter, a set of wine glasses, an array of kitchen gadgets, decorative throw pillows, and countless other items that now escape my memory.
I vividly recall loading up my shopping cart at Ikea to the brim, requiring a rented van just to transport it all back home.
Much of it sat unused for years, yet I clung to every piece because I believed it was expected of me. Compounding the issue, I continued purchasing even more—until eventually, I found myself living in a home overflowing with belongings that no longer resonated with who I truly was.
Decluttering as a Path to Self-Transformation
If this scenario sounds familiar, consider adopting the insightful approach from my young son.
Shift your focus away from the physical objects themselves and instead contemplate the person you genuinely wish to embody.
At this stage in my life, being forty-four, recently divorced, and weary of conforming to societal pressures, my aspirations have evolved. I yearn to cultivate a sense of confidence, a free-spirited nature, and true personal freedom.
- I envision myself as the type of woman who can drop everything in an instant if a friend suggests grabbing coffee spontaneously.
- The sort who welcomes an unexpected visitor at the door without a hint of anxiety over the home’s appearance.
- A woman whose morning routine flows smoothly because every garment in her closet brings genuine comfort, rather than merely appearing “appropriate.”
Embracing these ideals with the same resolute belief that my son holds about his own growth—what possessions would no longer have a place in my life?
- Would I stubbornly retain jeans that no longer fit, holding onto them “just in case”?
- Would I continue storing away boxes of rarely used items simply because of the money already invested?
- Would I persist in keeping half-completed projects out of a misguided sense of obligation to finish them?
Posing these questions to myself makes the act of releasing items feel far less daunting. At its core, decluttering transcends mere organization; it’s a deliberate process of harmonizing your surroundings with your evolving sense of self.
A Practical Thought Exercise to Try
Next time you hit a wall during a decluttering session, experiment with this straightforward mindset shift.
Move beyond conventional queries like “Do I truly need this?” and instead probe deeper with these prompts:
- Who do I aspire to be during this particular chapter of my life?
- Which items would that ideal version of myself choose to retain?
- And what would she release with absolute confidence?
Take a moment to shut your eyes and vividly imagine this future self. Envision the details of her living space—what does it look like? How does she navigate and interact within it effortlessly?
With that clear mental picture guiding you, approach your belongings anew. You’ll likely discover that those previously perplexing choices now resolve with remarkable clarity.
Decluttering need not evoke feelings of loss or self-reproach. Often, it’s simply about synchronizing your physical world with your inner growth—acknowledging your personal evolution and claiming an environment that honors it fully.
If a five-year-old can decisively abandon his “babyish” toys upon embracing his current identity, we adults possess every capacity to follow suit and create spaces that truly reflect our authentic selves.
