Does everything seem overwhelming lately? Many people experience this, but finding ways to navigate those emotions can make a difference.
“Healing emerges when we create space for every emotion to unfold: space for sorrow, relief, suffering, and delight.” ~Pema Chodron
Recently, I embarked on a vacation with my partner, Jett. While part of me wants to label it a complete catastrophe, the reality is that it simply mirrored everyday life. I carried high hopes for this getaway—I tend to hold lofty expectations in general—and naively assumed my personal struggles would stay behind when we headed to Mexico.
We managed to leave behind the household chores, the children, and the pets, yet we inevitably packed ourselves along. At that time, both of us were engaged in therapy, grappling with deep-seated childhood traumas. This emotional work left us vulnerable and quick to react. Add to that the disorientation of jet lag, miscommunications regarding our itinerary, and persistent physical pain for each of us—intensified by the uncomfortably cramped airplane seats we endured for the whole journey—and the conditions were far from ideal for a smooth experience.
Our first night passed without any sleep. Once the plane touched down and we settled into our accommodation, we set out to locate some CBD to help manage my anxiety. Although it doesn’t produce a high, being derived from cannabis, I couldn’t transport it through airport security. Driving our rental vehicle, we struggled to find parking near the dispensary.
After spending fifteen minutes or so circling, my partner suggested I might wait in the car while he dashed inside briefly.
My complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) stems from experiences of not feeling protected during childhood. My partner and I have been actively addressing this dynamic, as prioritizing my sense of security is essential in our relationship for me to truly feel secure. He, on the other hand, often approaches situations with a more relaxed demeanor.
So, when he proposed leaving me alone in the rental car at nighttime in Mexico—a place where I don’t speak the language—I looked at him in sheer disbelief and dread.
He quickly retracted the suggestion, insisting it was a foolish thought and that he would never actually abandon me there. I hadn’t eaten for many hours, had no CBD in my body to maintain calm—that was my go-to stabilizer—and after the exhausting flight, I was utterly drained. Tears came flooding out uncontrollably.
“Absolutely no one cares about your well-being,” an inner voice insisted.
He offered repeated apologies. I kept sobbing. Eventually, we secured a parking spot and obtained the CBD I needed.
Sleep eluded me entirely that night. My nervous system spiraled into chaos, gripped by terror at the notion of being abandoned to handle things solo. Waves of fury and grief burned intensely, like scorching asphalt under bare soles.
Jett drifted off to sleep eventually. I remained on the patio, observing the sunrise painting the ocean in hues of gold and pink.
The following day proved difficult for us both. I retreated to the private cabana that Jett had booked. While he rested to recover from jet lag and fatigue, I gazed endlessly at the vast water. Suddenly, a profound awareness washed over me: I was not isolated in my feelings. Vivid images began to surface in my mind.
An elderly grandmother, her face etched with deep wrinkles, perched on the beach, eyes fixed on the ocean as tears silently streamed down her cheeks.
A man, utterly heartbroken, hunched forward, staring blankly at the relentless waves crashing ashore.
A young child seated in the damp sand, toes chilled by the lapping waves, head tilted back in a piercing cry of anguish.
A bride, clad in her pristine white gown, facing somber gray waters, overwhelmed by a void of emptiness.
These individuals may not have been real in a literal sense. Yet, envisioning them—all those souls across history and the globe who have wept before the sea—instilled in me a sense of solidarity. A powerful, resonant connection pulsed within my core, defying easy description. My suffering wasn’t singular; it was a shared human thread. Goosebumps prickled my skin.
The remainder of our trip unfolded with stunning beauty. We strolled hand-in-hand along sandy shores, lounged poolside under the sun, plunged into the refreshing ocean waves, and explored the vibrant local fauna. We ventured to a serene cenote, drifting lazily in its crystal-clear, shallow pools, just the two of us. We witnessed dazzling fireworks displays and mesmerizing performances by fire dancers.
Yet, the latter part of the journey was equally demanding. We engaged in tough, heartfelt discussions. I shed tears; he did too. Despite escaping work obligations and domestic duties, my partner continued to battle sleepless nights. We had anticipated that this escape might alleviate his insomnia, but it offered no such relief.
Over those ten days, we encountered a tapestry of splendor and strife. We shed our responsibilities but not our inner burdens. Our traumas tagged along unbidden.
Wherever life takes you, it accompanies you fully. Certain journeys brim with joy. Others carry sorrow. Most weave together a mosaic of varied emotions.
Finding yourself on a beach or resort veranda with an aching heart? Here are ten practical strategies to navigate sadness during your vacation.
1. Gaze Toward the Ocean, Mountains, or Canyon (or Whatever Surrounds You)…
…and contemplate the countless broken-hearted individuals who have beheld this very vista before you, finding solace in its timeless presence.
2. Allow the Elements—Rain, Sunshine, or Gentle Snow—to Envelop You, Awakening Your Senses.
Inhale deeply: Do you detect the fragrance of blooming flowers? The briny tang of sea air? The crisp purity of fresh snow?
3. If This Melancholy Getaway Wasn’t Your Plan and Circumstances Have Derailed, Embrace Radical Acceptance.
Accept reality as it stands. Yes, that familiar phrase holds truth here. While we can’t always alter our circumstances, we can often transform them into something more tolerable. Redirect the trip’s focus—perhaps to observing wildlife, immersing in local music, or chronicling daily journal entries. Shift the narrative away from what you hoped for toward what actually unfolds.
4. Prepare for a Moment or Person to Spark Genuine Laughter.
Welcome it wholeheartedly. It’s perfectly fine to hold multiple emotions simultaneously. A burst of laughter doesn’t invalidate your underlying pain.
5. Forge Connections with Fellow Travelers.
Battling loneliness? Stay alert for others navigating similar vibes and seek shared interests. Bonds formed on vacation can endure for years.
6. Embrace Adventure!
Charter jet skis, try hang-gliding, or enroll in skiing classes. A surge of adrenaline can serve as potent therapy, reminding you vibrantly of your aliveness.
7. Release Through Tears, Shouts, or Movement—Expel That Emotional Weight from Your Body.
If creativity calls, paint or sketch. Lacking materials? Source them locally. As a photographer, experiment with fresh perspectives to frame your surroundings uniquely.
8. Prioritize Nourishing Meals and Restful Sleep.
Jet lag combined with dropping blood sugar sets a poor stage for enjoyment. Avoid layering ‘hanger’ onto your challenges!
9. Remain Fully Present.
Wherever your travels lead, immerse completely. Dwelling on bygones, tomorrow’s worries, or perceived ‘shoulds’ robs you of the richness available right now.
10. Journeying with Children? No Need for Perpetual Cheer.
It’s healthy for kids to witness parental emotions, particularly when modeled with constructive management. Leverage resort kids’ clubs if available! Even brief interludes for quiet reflection recharge you, enhancing presence upon reuniting. Simply setting them up with sand pails, shovels, and beach toys grants precious breathing room.
When emotions intensify beyond capacity, remember: this trip will conclude, and so will the heaviness. Life perpetually encompasses the full emotional spectrum; our role is to welcome it all and extract the utmost value from each moment.
